kneel

kneel

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

An 'EEHU' reflection

I want to preface this blog post with the statement that MEEHU was amazing. I met so many new friends and got to see old ones. I learned a bunch, got to trance with a fair amount of people and presented my first class ever! Woohoo.


On a more serious note: All of my 'EEHU' experiences have ended on a very sad and low note. Normally people would consider this 'con drop' and what not. However, it is very very different.

NEEHU 5 almost ended with me losing someone close to my heart. MEEHU 1 ended with me officially losing him.

As much as I want to guarantee my attendance at NEEHU 6, I am unable to make that promise. The pain is terrible. I find myself oscillating between the second, third and fourth stages of grief: Anger, Bargaining, and Depression. The crying turns into choking which develops into trying to gasp for air. I feel like I crashed to bottom of a lake with a weighted chain, holding me to the floor causing me to drown.


Usually I try and post about my awesome scenes and trances. However, I am terribly sad and lonely. trying desperately to stay afloat for the time being.


Cheers
confessor

1 comment:

  1. :::::hugs::::::: You know I know these feels my baby bird. I wish you peace.

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